a quick look at today

Today was supposed to be the town's fourth of july parade, and I was going to take photos for the station, but it started pouring, so yes, it rained on our parade. O well. Now I just get to sit at home and type. Because I would probably still be asleep had I not been supposed to take photos. But it rained a lot, and I had to drive my roommate's car, which I am not used to driving a car at all, I have a small SUV. And it was raining hard enough that it was hard to see out the windshield, and such as that. So we drove home in the rain. Now it's not raining so much anymore. And I am trying to grow, looking for courage. I am afraid that because of what I have been I will never be allowed to be something else. And every time I get close to making it something else happens and I fall again and it's like that final goal is always just out of my reach. I am thinking at this point I am going to have to make a dive, just jump in and do something, if anyone will let me. I want courage to stand up for who I am, and support from people to let me take those chances. So, this prayer from Reinhold Niebuhr, modernized I think, is quite appropriate to end with: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.