things to say

Well, I clearly have nothing important to say, nor am I worth the price of my life it seems. But I guess I'll keep going anyway. Yesterday was a bad day, hands down. I got screwed over by sunshine electronics; brooklyn schmucks. I so very naively insulted my roommate. Which I should have known better. Yet I did it anyway. WHY do I do this stuff? I do not know. Luther said to sin boldly, but I don't think he meant be an idiot. My two best consciences are out of town, so I am left alone to deal with myself. I finished The Case For A Creator yesterday, the only good event of the day. Now I have to read The Omnivore's Dilemma for my honor's class. Should be good, I have issues with food. And becoming vegetarian didn't exactly help that, but it didn't really make things so much worse either. It seems well written so far though. And I started reading the August issue of The Lutheran today, which definitely lifted my spirits a bit. Glad something did. I guess they're right about my needing to see a counselor/therapist. I just need one who is gay friendly who can help me with my faith struggles. Well, that and life. Wow, I am so screwed up. I guess they are right, I can't do this by myself. I think I might can make it without medication now, but not without someone to talk through it. I just don't know everything. As much as I'd like to think I do. And I can't always step outside of myself and see the big picture. And the big picture is a mess. I've just about exhausted local resources, hopefully this dude I'm looking into is brave enough to take me on. Or I'm going to have to look to another city. Fortunately there are some nearby. Small city Texas is generally not overly gay friendly. I don't know how I got here. I only hope I can get out. I guess desperation is the best motivator in times like this. That and the revocation of privileges. I'm not a fan. So here I am, pleading desperation once again, hopefully with some kind of positive results, sooner rather than later. I don't need more days like yesterday. Just not helpful. And forgive me for not being so important, or entertaining. Sometimes I just have to say something, even if it's overall rather worthless.