adventures in guadalupe county

My roommate does the police blotter for the paper the radio station print side puts out, so I get to hear all the good stories there. There are some dumb criminals in this county. My favorites are two escaped criminals in two days, one of which stole a police car and then was found three blocks away from where he escaped. Hours later. Dude, run away. And the first one just walked out of the office, and eluded police for hours. Impressive. And he was still handcuffed when they caught him again. Another was someone who dug up a plant out of someone's yard and stole it. And it was a nice plant, but nothing exceptional, and dude, just take a clipping and grow your own. Heck, had they asked the owner of the plant they might even have been willing to share. Also, 4 virgin Mary statues, about 3' tall each, were stolen from walmart. According to witnesses, a truck drove by a few times, then someone hopped out, grabbed 4 of them from in front of the garden center, and drove off. I said I don't know that any number of hail mary's would absolve that one. What do they do, go to confession, say 'bless me father for i have sinned, i stole 4 virgin mary statues from walmart.' They actually caught the people later at the home the car was registered to, and two young men and a woman were drunk with the statutes sitting in the back seat. And, in case anyone was thinking of stealing stuff from walmart self check, they do watch that. Some lady was caught the other day trying to only ring up half the stuff in her cart, and steal the other half. They didn't much appreciate that. Then there was the guy who went to the counter at a gas station, pretended to buy a candy bar, asked to see a pack of cigarettes, then ran out with the cigarettes and left the candy. Dude, take the candy! He went to another gas station a little while later and actually bought some snack item, and then did the same thing with the cigarettes. Then he was caught at a bar trying to sell the cigarettes. And there have been several reports where people have broken in to places and only stolen beer, not even taken the money. Except b/c of the damage they do trying to break in their charges are higher b/c the cost of the crime increases. Oh, Guadalupe County criminals. Even the law enforcement officers have to laugh at some of this stuff. And more recently there were two neighbors fighting over a mailbox, one said it was his and the other neighbor stole it, so he stole it back, and they took the post and everything. My roommate was like, give me their addresses and I'll send them both one. Some people need new hobbies.